Wednesday, March 29, 2017

One More Time, R.I.P Christina

As I've pondered the loss of my sweet friend Christina, I couldn't help but think of the essay I wrote shortly after I met her, One More Time.

She was in fact my inspiration for this piece. I was determined to see her sobriety through till the end, but the kind of end where we laugh in our old age at the crazy stuff we did when we were young and how we made it out alive. But it wasn't suppose to end like this.  
I'm angry at her in a way because she knew the risks of what one more time meant. As a matter of fact she and I were walking the track one day and she shared with me the dangers of it. She explained that when a person has detoxed and has been off drugs for some time, especially heroin, and they take the chance of one more time, their body has lost the tolerance they once had to the drug. The addict attempts to use the same amount as they before the detox and it usually leads to an overdose. IF they overdose, there's a small window of saving the person. If the person is alone, who will be there to save them? Breaks my heart to think she was alone.

I hate that she took a chance of just one more time. I hate that it's her face I think of as I remember this...

One More Time

One more time means saying "Yes" again.
Yes to getting back on the bike again after falling down
Yes to doing something when I'm afraid
Yes to my marriage when we've seen more bad and ugly rather than good
Yes says, "I'm gonna find the good."
For the addict friend "One more time" could mean a choice between life and death.
Yes for an addict could mean, "This one last hit."
But one more time for an addict is like playing Russian Roulette.
It's like pulling the trigger of a loaded gun,
putting it up to your head,
and hoping the bullet doesn't enter the chamber.
Every time you pull the trigger and take the drug, you are taking a chance with your life.
But since nothing bad happens, you pull the trigger again.
One More Time could mean the difference between "it destroyed your brain and you no longer function normally,"
OR You've just OD'd and you're dead,
Or your family member,
Or your friend,
Or someone that just simply mattered.
LISTEN, You may think you have control over it but you DON'T!
It controls YOU!
Each and every time,
Deeper and further off the path of Truth.
Saying "Yes" means your saying "No" to something.
Look at what you've said No to...
No to Your family
No to Your precious kids
No to life
With Each and Every time you steal, manipulate, lie...
All for the next high
Is it worth it?
You've just sold your soul...
For a rock
Or powder
Or a drink
Or liquid in a freaking spoon
The insanity of it!
You've been Duped, Deceived, Snowed, Tricked, Trapped...
You are SELLING yourself for something that is DESTROYING you, little by little...
With every shot
Every snort
Every puff
Every single hit.
It's time to stop the madness
Get off the ride
To live again!
LOOK It's hard. It's REALLY hard.
But it can be done.
Surround yourself with people that will help you sort out the good yes's and the bad yes's.
You need a voice in your ear that will help you decipher the two.
To say...
Yes to life and no to destruction
Yes to peace and no to chaos
Yes to healing and no to perpetual sickness
Yes to hope and no to despair
Yes to redemption and reconciliation
This Yes ^^^
means you are saying Yes to Jesus.
He is Life and Peace and Healing and Hope and offers Redemption and Reconciliation.
Cry out to the Lord today and say,
Yes to Jesus.
He will give you the strength you need for the road to recovery.

Much Love and Peace,

*If you or someone you love wants help with addiction in their life here is the Nationwide Hotline. It's 100% anonymous. But please don't hesitate to call today.
1-800-821-HELP 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Recovery is possible.

*Originally posted 12-31-15

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Arrivederci Dear Friend

This piece was written by Christina Ivory. She battled with addiction for close to a decade.

But she worked so hard at her recovery. If a meeting was offered, she was there. Every single one.
This picture below was actually taken at Celebrate Recovery just a few days before she passed.

So it was to my absolute disbelief to learn she overdosed two days ago, after being clean for nearly a year. April 28, 2017 was her one year anniversary of sobriety.

Here's her poem, A Look in the Mirror.

I look in the mirror hardly ever. I wash my face without looking. I look up as I do my hair.
My heart is so blue. My mind doesn't know the answers. This isn't a test.
My soul is badly covered in soil I can barely breathe.
Is there a way out, I shout?!?!
This is such a deep hole it's hard to climb out.
I'm all alone in here.
I'm surrounded by turmoil, worms, lingering things.
The thoughts of, is there a way out?
Which way do I go?
How can I get out?
There's no map or atlas to direct me.
The one way has to come to an end.
Yep, that's how I fell in!
I need another street to take.
Will I make it out of here all alone?
I know I will one day be at the Throne with the correct piece!
God's here with me. I can feel Him.
I hope He will help me find the way.
So dark I can barely see.
The Pressures too much for me.
I just want to scream and shout, "Lord help me out!"
This is regret.
This is pain.
This is having no correct man to love me the right way.
The grief.
I'm overwhelmed.
I gave it to you, so it's a lot easier to me & for me.
I take the air in and breathe.
I'm starting to climb out.
My voice is getting calmer.
My heart is beating regular.
The Mirror just not yet.
Too much regret.
When I do peak, I see my mom and I think, that's what keeps me away.
The reflection I see in that mirror.
I love you mom.
I need you to say it in return.

I'm gonna miss you girl.

Mama Dixon, your A1

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Second Chances

Hey Friends! I took a little impromptu break from blogging over the holiday. We had Thanksgiving dinners four days in a row. Spent lots of time with family, baking, eating, dodging family tension and thought we'd get away with a politic free night but no. It was brought up just when we thought everyone was leaving. My poor hub was sucked in and a whole nother hour of discussion. smh

However, I was introduced to two new books. One is specifically for Advent, which I love btw! And the other one is about second chances, and who doesn't appreciate being given a second chance.

The hope of gospel speaks of it all throughout.

Jesus was the biggest promoter of second chances! ...a friend of tax collectors and "sinners."

And we all fall into that category. And if you don't think you do, well then you most certainly belong there!

This is the newest book I've had the pleasure of reading.

I'm close to the half way mark and I'm so excited about it! Twitter watch out. Facebook too. I'm even sending quotes to my friends.
"This is a book for messed-up overcomers, for religious rebels, for the broken but resilient."
Man oh man, if that isn't right up my alley I don't know what is.

Of all the things I've learned this year is, God grace is scandalous. It's a grace that moves beyond the rules and what's accepted, to the meet those that are unaccepted and live on the fringes. 

I makes me think about the story Jesus shares of the Pharisee and Tax Collector in Luke 18:9-14. 
Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: "Two men went to the Temple to pray. On was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: 'I thank you, God, that I am not like other people--cheaters, sinners, adulterers. I'm certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of income.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, 'O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.' I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." 
Only Jesus could wipe the slate clean for the tax collector.

Just like He does for us.

I did have someone disagree with me on this excerpt from the book:
"His heart is far larger, His love far stronger than anything we can imagine...God is one lover you cannot manipulate or woo. He's all one sided. It's all grace. And He is all love."
They don't believe that He's all grace and all love.

I remember that being told to me that last year. It felt very old testament to me.

But sometimes when we go through difficult times we press in a little harder to find out if what we think we know is really true at all.

This is what I know about an all loving, all grace God,
God is love. 1 John 4:16
We are FULLY justified (declared guiltless) freely by His grace through the redemption that came be Christ Jesus. Romans 3:24
While Jesus was hanging on the cross He said two very important things. One, to the thief hanging next to Him, "Today you will be with me in paradise." And second, to those who put Him there, "Forgive them for they know not what they do."
Our justice looks very different than His justice. Our justice is beating the guy who owes us $5, when we've been forgiven of $500. 
When we struggle to do the right thing but yield to do the wrong thing, "What a wretched man am I! Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord. He delivers me through Jesus. He delivers me. The good news of the gospel.

This book has reassured me that even though I've messed up in life, and I've gone through great suffering for it, I am not the sum of my weakness and failures.

Now I'm not Catholic but I do watch the Catholic world. I also graduated from a Catholic High School so I tend to look at the Catholic church fondly. I really liked Pope John Paul II. He seemed like a warm, compassionate person. This quote of his may be my favorite of all the things he said.

"We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures, we are the sum of the Father's love for us..."

Just ponder that for a moment. "We are the sum of the Father's love for us."

What a sigh of relief! It truly removes the burden of sin off of us and simply covers us with a blanket of love.

Let me just here with my blanket of love that my Hunny gave me, with coffee in hand and rest in the fact, "I'm the sum of the Father's love for me."

Blessings and Peace through this Holiday Season,

If you need some reassurance in this department, go and pick this book, The People of the Second Chance. You won't regret it!

Friday, November 18, 2016

We're All in This Together

I got down right honest the other day in the essay I posted about WWJD. But isn't honesty is suppose to be freeing? Yet I'm troubled by it. 

I shared with you how I was a Christian, la ti da, and I try to live by the bible but I'm conflicted cause I love the LBGT community. I quoted my friend Sue, who said, "I have to stay in my heart rather than my head. Otherwise, I'll go all Pharisee!"

I've been mulling over that essay since I posted it. But even though it wasn't my intention to offend anyone, I may have. I would never want to dehumanize anyone by throwing a bible verse at them. That's what the Pharisees did to the woman caught in adultery, saying, "According to the law she needed to be stoned to death." But Jesus didn't agree with them. He sat quietly and didn't say a word for sometime. It took so long that the religious leaders kept repeating it. We all know what he said, "You who is without sin cast the first stone." And one by one they dropped their stones, from the oldest to the youngest. No condemners left. 

In my opinion they covered her in death by pointing out her "sin." She no longer was a person. She became the sin they were pointing out. Romans 7:10 says, "I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death." 

Isn't that what we do to people who look, think, act differently than us? They become the thing that makes them different by judging and condemning by the law. We place ourselves as God and strip them of humanity. 

I think this election has brought to light some serious issues to light in our country. As I said in The Morning After, "...there are a good number of Americans that are frightened and shaken..."

One of them is the son of an old friend. He was so hurt by all his family and friends supporting Trump. I believe he still is. 

Trump wasn't very nice along his campaign trail. He spewed a lot of hate propaganda. And the support he gathered is what surprised me the most. How could we get behind a man like that?  But many did. And now I'm left with prayer.  

However, I'm not apart of the LBGT community or an immigrant or any of those that has felt marginalized in today's world. I'm a middle class white woman who's considered privileged in society.  But as a Christian who's fallen and no longer accepted in my community I get it. The pain and hurt they feel being actively rejected, I KNOW how that feels. 

I may not be one of them but I am one of them. We're all in this together. That's what Jesus showed. No one's left out. He didn't use the law to condemn. He used the Spirit to give life. 

That's all people want is to be loved and accepted. 

I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I "think" of others, because our thoughts can deceive us. We get hung up and get all law like. That's why Jesus shows us in action how to extent our hands to our neighbors. So it doesn't matter how the neighbor in the story of the Good Samaritan fell into his situation, but what's important is being there for them in the recovery.

You are loved and accepted and seen exactly as you are...and I have a load of healing salve in my knapsack just in case you need it.

Peace & An Immense Amount of Love,

And IF I did offend anyone at all by any previous posts, please accept my apology and please forgive me. 

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Getting Off Course is Sometimes a Good Thing

Christmas is coming up fast.
I mean it's pretty much here already with ads abound and decorations galore.
Thanksgiving is just the gateway to Christmas anymore.

Didn't really mean for all that to rhyme but hey, ya gotta take it as a gift. Kinda like Christmas. ;)

So we've been feeling the squeeze of holiday pressure, not to mention regular living, bills, teenagers, eating out, eating in, gas to and from work, husband works as much OT as possible but it never seems enough.

He's tired. I'm tired. We're in our forties and should be retiring in ten years or so. It would of course be him retiring, as I'm a stay at home Do Everything Else person. I don't really like the term "stay at home mom or wife" because life entails oh so much more than just staying at home and eating bonbons. I cook, clean, do laundry, manage our finances, make necessary phone calls, run errands, home-school our daughter, and take grandkids when asked. I also help my ailing mother when needed-such as take her to appointments, run errands, mediate between her and my sister, what any good daughter would do.

I'm also a wanna be writer, blogger, that sometimes takes up way too much of my time but I needed a place where I could be as real as I could get without feeling judged (and maybe I secretly am just don't know it).

Being real takes vulnerability and vulnerability exposes your weaknesses. And when I feel exposed I just wanna run and hide and quickly cover-up.

I feel I'm so guarded with the rest of my life, mainly friendships, so here in this space I pretend we're friends and I can share whatever's on my heart (The good, the bad, and the ugly) and you'll love me no matter what.

A girl can dream can't she?

Speaking of dreaming, sometimes when I'm watching a reality tv on E! or HGTV I ask out loud, "Where do they get all their money?" It absolutely boggles my mind. It's either old money or new money, but they're able to go and do things and buy things that I can't.

I've been thinking about getting a Christmas job. I haven't worked outside the home in about a year and a half but with my back being so bad (herniated disc), I can't stand or sit like a normal person. Even going to Walmart, or last night we went to Lowe's to look for carpet, within 15 mins my back, hip and leg was killing me. I feel a little hopeless. I mean what the frick, I'm only 45 years old. Am I gonna be crippled by the time I'm 50? I don't want to confess that over myself but it's definitely frustrating.

I've gone online the last few mornings and googled "Work from home." There are some doozy's out there.

The Krazy Coupon Lady posted this: 29 Legit Qays for Stay-at-Home Moms to Earn Money From Home. But I'm somewhat paranoid that they aren't legit, even though the Krazy Coupon Lady endorses them.

Then I upped the ante and decided to google "From Broke to Billionaire." There actually was quite a few posts out there.

I was quite impressed with Sara Blakely, the Billionaire Spanx lady. She came up with the idea while getting ready to go out one evening. But it wasn't necessarily a new idea, cause women have been trying to squeeze their "goods" in all the way back to the 16th century. Sara just came up with a new way to package it. CNN Money shared her story from rags to riches and it was very encouraging.

Tony Robbins was another inspiring story. Here Forbes tells of his journey from broke to rich all from investments.

In 2014, shared 5 Incredible People Who Went From Broke to Billionaire. Oprah is happens to be this one and who doesn't love to read about Oprah.

Sounds like I just need to get a really great idea and invent something or come up with something that people feel that just HAVE TO HAVE and can't live without. Sort of like Kylie Jenner's makeup line.

But since I don't have the Kardashian/Jenner name...Hey maybe that's something to think about, I could change my name to theirs.

Here's what the headlines would say,

"Long lost cousin of Kardashian/Jenner clan"

Julie Jenner
Julie Kardashian
Julie K for short. Now that's gotta good ring to it.

Ah who am I kidding? I'd be known as a fraud trying to benefit from their famous name. Guess I can't go that route.

My father wasn't a successful businessman. He worked at General Motors as the Pay Master. It was a great job but he was never good with money. He always blew it. He bought stupid expensive things and lived pay check to pay check. Guess I'm following in his footsteps. And the realization of that sucks.

But I don't want to anymore. Like I said I'm tired. Living this way is exhausting, being stressed out all the time. And I don't wanna do no Mary Kay, Amway, IT Works, Candle Party, Essential Oil marketing BS. I've been there, done that, tried it all. The ONLY people making the money are the ones at the top with you buying their $100 starter kit.

Here's one inspiring story that's closer to home. I know him as Pastor Terry. He was the children's pastor at our old church. He had such a love for children and was one of the reasons we decided to stay at that church. I had the honor of serving under him in the children's ministry, Gap ministry and Backyard ministry. The children's ministry serviced the church kids on Wednesday and Sunday and the Gap and Barkyard ministry reached out to the kids less fortunate. They weren't as well behaved, broke things, and honestly, didn't smell very good. They brought dirt in from the outside. And although we tried to clean up after a Friday night Gap service it was never clean enough for some regular church attenders. You could say the Gap ministry was his passion and Sunday ministry was his job.

Things didn't turn out so peachy for him there. He needed surgery and would be on the mend for a couple months. Unbeknownst to him the head pastor decided to replace him. It went down bad. Pastor Terry was blind sided. Pastoring was his whole life. It's what he lived for.

Now you're probably wondering how is this inspiring? I'm getting to it.

Well Pastor Terry was also a gifted craftsman. He could create the most beautiful woodwork you'd ever seen. And he poured himself in that work. After months of just making bird houses he decided to go out on a limb and started his own business. This year alone he's made 6 figures.

The angst he went through thrusted him into plan B.

Sara Blakely says it like this, "Failure is life's way of nudging you and letting you know you're off course."

Maybe I was off course. I didn't want to do anything else but serve in the church. I was behind 4 walls everyday, and although I was passionate about it, I couldn't see beyond it. One thing I know for sure, I would have never started blogging if my life hadn't turned upside down.

Maybe you feel you're off course too. Or maybe you're life is great as is. Either way, I'm going to pray for us that we'd see our set of circumstances with fresh eyes and a fresh heart, that we'd be open to a new path when life's thrown us a detour. Lord give us new hope and to trust the journey. Amen.

 Deuteronomy 8:18 says, "But remember the LORD your God, for it is He that gives you the power to produce wealth..."

Peace & an Immense Amount of Love,

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

God's Undercover Agents

Jail life isn't Club Med. It's Hell. There's an oppressive force that hovers over you, leaving you feeling desperate and caged. It's more extreme, more excessive, more harsh, full of evil forces, more than you could ever imagine. 

99% of the women in there was a repeat offender. There was a very small percentage of us in there that had never experienced anything like it. 

This county jail houses everyone all together. Murderers, rapists, drug dealers, drug users, whether illegal or prescription. There are armed and unarmed robbers, retail fraud, credit card fraud, driving without a driver's license, DUI's, you name it, they were there. Most were waiting for their court dates but some had already been sentenced. 

You hardly sleep there because of the nonstop noise. But many of the girls that come in there are detoxing so they sleep all the time. Many of them have psychological problems so they're drugged to the max. This one girl was trying to get away from the deputies, which there's no where to go, only to run in circles. She ended up going up the stairs and throwing herself off the balcony, nearly killing herself. She could no longer walk freely. She had to wear shackles on her at all times. 

I spoke at the Forgotten Man Ministry Banquet in October and I was sharing with them my experience there and how their ministry touched me. 

Here's some of what I shared.
I hardly slept through the first night. Wrist band check was sometime around 630. Breakfast followed around 7. Dayroom (what they called breaks) was announced between 9 and 10. Lunch was sometime around noon. Each time we were called to do one of these things, I had no idea what the deputy was saying because she was barking all of her instructions. The girl on the top bunk had to tell me what to do so I wouldn’t get in trouble. 
I tried sleeping as much as I could between meals and dayroom, but a person can only sleep so much. As I laid there on my bunk, I came to the realization that I was in Hell.
I fell back on what I always did, in both good times and bad times, and that was singing. The only lyrics I could quietly muster was “Oh the Blood of Jesus, it washes white as snow.” Through a grief I had never known, I repeated these words over and over again.
During one of the breaks, I noticed a group of women came into the pod. They all had vests on and some sat at the tables with their bibles and a couple of them stood up by the cart. Many of inmates got in line to receive paper and pencils, as well as books or magazines off the cart. Other girls sat at the tables and were talking to the ladies in vests. 
I didn’t want to talk to anyone, so I just laid there and watched all the movement. However, I did want a piece of paper and pencil to write home and maybe a book to read. So I mustered up the courage and got in line.
One of the ladies prayed with me during that time and I cried. I couldn't believe I was there and desperately needed a friend, a word of encouragement, something, anything... God reached out on my behalf through her and said, “I see right where you’re at and haven’t forgotten you.” 
Psalm 139:8b says, “Even if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there with me.”  
If there's ever a ministry that you'd like to get involved with, the Forgotten Man Ministry is one worth  the while. Most of these people don't know anything about real love or have ever had a kind word spoken to them, so it's a great way to show them Christ.

The Forgotten Man Ministry is similar to the Red Cross. Their motto is “to offer help and HOPE wherever and whenever someone URGENTLY needs it.” This very much describes these beautiful humans. 

I see them as God’s secret agents, under cover on the mission field, going where no man wants to go. They bring the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

For every speaker, every bible study teacher, those that are dedicated to come to book cart day, even those who sacrifice their time and make a home cooked meal for Thanksgiving (it's right around the corner) - this verse accurately describes them, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news of the gospel.”

Matthew 25:36 says, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” Vs 40 says, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me.” 

Peace & Love Friends,

God is With You

Most of this post is included in my earlier essays but I needed to hear it again this morning and if I did, maybe you do too. 

As you know, 2015 was hell for me. I experienced a darkness that I wish to never experience again. 

But what I learned is this, even in those dark times He is with you. 
He hasn’t forgotten you. He hasn’t left you. He sees and knows all it. 
When it seemed all had abandoned me, I was at the end of myself and after all the dust settled, I found out that He was still with me. 
And He is with you today. 
Maybe some of you know that already. Maybe some of you forgot. 
It’s easy to forget when things get difficult in life. 
But today I want to remind that you have not been forgotten and that you are not alone.

I wanna share a story with you out of John 8:1-11.

I remember reading this one and point blank asked God, “What does it mean to ‘go and sin no more.'  
So I started researching the definition of sin 
I think most people translate it as ‘you’re doing wrong, now stop it and start doing right.’  
But it’s deeper than that. Our behavior is always a truth teller of what’s going on on the inside. Our mouths almost always give it away. In Matt 12:34 and Luke 6:45 says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

The Hebrew word for sin is chata’ (khaw-taw) definition of sin is - to miss, miss the mark, miss the way or path, make a mistake, an error, fail to find or have, to be absent.  
The root word for sin means forgetfulness. 
Shakeach means forget, forgetful, to be oblivious. 
It’s an unconscious state.

So what do I think Jesus was exactly telling her to do?  
I think He was telling her to remember.  
Now to remember is to be conscious.  
To be aware.  
I think He was telling her to remember this moment. 
Remember that He didn’t condemn her. 
Remember that she was no longer bound to what she had done.  
Remember that He set her free.  
Set her free from what the religious leaders said about her and set free from what the law of Moses said. 
And set her free from public opinion.  
His opinion was the only opinion that mattered. 

The story of Zacchaeus is one of my favorite stories in the bible. It's a story that recognizes the depravity in man, this man, in you and in me. But despite that depravity, God's love is greater, more accepting, more forgiving and for that I'm grateful. 

Luke 19:1-10

Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way.
When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.”
Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. 7 But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled.
Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!”
Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. 
For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”

Zacchaeus was a man that was hated by his own townsmen and yet Jesus called his name and wanted to spend time with him at his house. 
Zacchaeus was changed immediately by this love. 
He wanted to pay restitution from the things he had done wrong. 
But this wasn’t a requirement of Jesus. 
He didn’t say before I come to your house you need to do this, this and this…No Jesus just called his name and told him I wanna hang out with you just as you are. This love that He had for him is what changed him. Not fear of punishment. Not Threats. Just I love you exactly as you are.

If you feel far away from Him, if you feel you’ve seen or done too much, that He couldn’t possibly love you or accept you, that’s not the case! 

Listen His eye is always on you. 
You couldn’t run far enough away that He wouldn’t be there. 
Psalm 139:7-8 says, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.” 
The message bible says, “You’d find me in a minute-You’re already there waiting!”

Just like Jesus called the most hated man in town, He knew the exact spot Zaaahaeus was going to be in and called out to him.

He calls out to you today. Just as you are. No need to clean up, His arms are wide open here and now. 
I want you to bask in the fact that you are loved with a love greater than your minds can comprehend. No matter where you are in life His mercy and love covers you today. 

“God’s love and forgiveness can pardon and restore any and every kind of sin or wrongdoing. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done.” ~Timothy Keller

Peace & An Immense Amount of Love for You All,