Wednesday, June 29, 2016

She Wears an Orange, Letters from an Addict

I look in the mirror hardly ever. I wash my face without looking. I look up as I do my hair.
My heart is so blue. My mind doesn't know the answers. This isn't a test.
My soul is badly covered in soil I can barely breathe.
Is there a way out I shout?!?!
This is such a deep hole it's hard to climb out.
I'm all alone in here.
I'm surrounded by turmoil, worms, lingering things.
The thoughts of, is there a way out?
Which way do I go?
How can I get out?
There's no map or atlas to direct me.
The one way has to come to an end.
Yep, that's how I fell in!
I need another street to take.
Will I make it out of here all alone?
I know I will one day be at the Throne with the correct piece!
God's here with me. I can feel Him.
I hope He will help me find the way.
So dark I can barely see.
The Pressures too much for me.
I just want to scream and shout, "Lord help me out!"
This is regret.
This is pain.
This is having no correct man to love me the right way.
The grief.
I'm overwhelmed.
I gave it to you, so it's a lot easier to me & for me.
I take the air in and breathe.
I'm starting to climb out.
My voice is getting calmer.
My heart is beating regular.
The Mirror just not yet.
Too much regret.
When I do peak, I see my mom and I think, that's what keeps me away.
The reflection I see in that mirror.
I love you mom.
I need you to say it in return.


This is Ally Girl. Her name has been changed to protect her identity.
She may be incarcerated but she's a human being, just like you and me.

She's just lost her way.

But that's what we're to do for each, walk each other home.

Peace and Love,
Julie