But she worked so hard at her recovery. If a meeting was offered, she was there. Every single one.
This picture below was actually taken at Celebrate Recovery just a few days before she passed.
So it was to my absolute disbelief to learn she overdosed two days ago, after being clean for nearly a year. April 28, 2017 was her one year anniversary of sobriety.
I look in the mirror hardly ever. I wash my face without looking. I look up as I do my hair.
My heart is so blue. My mind doesn't know the answers. This isn't a test.
My soul is badly covered in soil I can barely breathe.
Is there a way out, I shout?!?!
This is such a deep hole it's hard to climb out.
I'm all alone in here.
I'm surrounded by turmoil, worms, lingering things.
The thoughts of, is there a way out?
Which way do I go?
How can I get out?
There's no map or atlas to direct me.
The one way has to come to an end.
Yep, that's how I fell in!
I need another street to take.
Will I make it out of here all alone?
I know I will one day be at the Throne with the correct piece!
God's here with me. I can feel Him.
I hope He will help me find the way.
So dark I can barely see.
The Pressures too much for me.
I just want to scream and shout, "Lord help me out!"
This is regret.
This is pain.
This is having no correct man to love me the right way.
I gave it to you, so it's a lot easier to me & for me.
I take the air in and breathe.
I'm starting to climb out.
My voice is getting calmer.
My heart is beating regular.
The Mirror just not yet.
Too much regret.
When I do peak, I see my mom and I think, that's what keeps me away.
The reflection I see in that mirror.
I love you mom.
I need you to say it in return.
I'm gonna miss you girl.
Mama Dixon, your A1