Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Arrivederci Dear Friend

This piece was written by Christina Ivory. She battled with addiction for close to a decade.

But she worked so hard at her recovery. If a meeting was offered, she was there. Every single one.
This picture below was actually taken at Celebrate Recovery just a few days before she passed.

So it was to my absolute disbelief to learn she overdosed two days ago, after being clean for nearly a year. April 28, 2017 was her one year anniversary of sobriety.

Here's her poem, A Look in the Mirror.

I look in the mirror hardly ever. I wash my face without looking. I look up as I do my hair.
My heart is so blue. My mind doesn't know the answers. This isn't a test.
My soul is badly covered in soil I can barely breathe.
Is there a way out, I shout?!?!
This is such a deep hole it's hard to climb out.
I'm all alone in here.
I'm surrounded by turmoil, worms, lingering things.
The thoughts of, is there a way out?
Which way do I go?
How can I get out?
There's no map or atlas to direct me.
The one way has to come to an end.
Yep, that's how I fell in!
I need another street to take.
Will I make it out of here all alone?
I know I will one day be at the Throne with the correct piece!
God's here with me. I can feel Him.
I hope He will help me find the way.
So dark I can barely see.
The Pressures too much for me.
I just want to scream and shout, "Lord help me out!"
This is regret.
This is pain.
This is having no correct man to love me the right way.
The grief.
I'm overwhelmed.
I gave it to you, so it's a lot easier to me & for me.
I take the air in and breathe.
I'm starting to climb out.
My voice is getting calmer.
My heart is beating regular.
The Mirror just not yet.
Too much regret.
When I do peak, I see my mom and I think, that's what keeps me away.
The reflection I see in that mirror.
I love you mom.
I need you to say it in return.

I'm gonna miss you girl.

Mama Dixon, your A1